how do you know if your friend likes your boyfriend
Signs Cheating

Signs Your Friend Is Sleeping With Your Boyfriend

Having a sneaking suspicion that your best friend is hooking up with your boyfriend behind your back is one of the worst feelings. You want to trust them, but you can’t shake the little signs that something suspicious is happening. Before you accuse anyone of cheating, make sure you have clear proof. Here are some of the most giant red flags — signs your friend is sleeping with your boyfriend.

Signs That Tell Your Friend Has a Crush On Your Man

Having a close female friend can be significant. You’ve got someone to chat and laugh with, share relationship ups and downs, and feel that sisterly bond. But what happens when you notice suspicious behavior that makes you wonder if your BFF has more than friendly feelings for your guy? Maybe are you thinking that your man is even sleeping with best friend? 

It’s an awkward position, and you start second-guessing her actions. Before you confront her or spiral into paranoia, take a step back. There could be reasonable explanations. However, there are a few signs that your friend might be crushing on your man. Read on for the top red flags to watch out for.

signs your friend is sleeping with your boyfriend

Constant Communication

Are you thinking: “My best friend slept with my boyfriend…”? Ok, one of the biggest giveaways is if your friend and boyfriend are suddenly texting or chatting online a lot. I’m not talking, just a few innocent messages here and there. I mean frequent, lengthy conversations happening at all hours of the day and night.

If you notice them constantly giggling at their phones when they’re together or making inside jokes, that’s also suspicious. Why do they need to talk so much privately instead of when you’re all hanging out? There’s likely a reason they don’t want you to see what they’re saying.

Sneaking Off Together

So, how do you know if your friend likes your boyfriend? Pay attention if your friend and boyfriend find excuses to slip away alone when you hang out. For example, maybe they keep offering to pick up snacks or other errands where it would just be the two. Or they mysteriously disappear for a long time, and when you check on them, they’re acting awkward and suspicious.

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If you notice a pattern of them volunteering for one-on-one time, they are likely using these opportunities to get intimate behind your back. People who have nothing to hide don’t need to sneak off constantly.

Overly Defensive

If your friend gets weirdly defensive or angry when you merely ask innocent questions about her interactions with your boyfriend, that’s a major red flag. An innocent person would probably brush off questions or reassure you sincerely.

But if she flips out at you or tries to make you feel crazy for even wondering, it means she’s hiding something. People who aren’t doing anything wrong don’t get upset and overreact.

Excessive Flirting

According to medical and physiological research, studies on flirting often use self-reports. But it’s better to look at actual flirting behavior. This review suggests using a behavioral approach to study flirting. This means seeing which flirting actions follow rules and which get positive responses that reinforce them. An interesting part is how verbal cues affect reactions to flirting. Studying flirting behaviorally could improve research on relationships. Now, friends can flirt and be playful entirely innocently. But there’s a line between harmless fun and emotional or physical cheating.

Please pay attention to how they look at and touch each other. Is it lingering and intimate or just casual and friendly? Also, listen to the nature of their compliments. Are they telling each other how hot they look or how much they mean to them? That’s the kind of flirting that signals blurred boundaries.

My best friend slept with my boyfriend

Less Interested in You

When your boyfriend suddenly becomes distant, cold, and less interested in you, that’s often a sign he’s getting his needs met elsewhere – possibly by your friend.

Think about it — if he’s fooling around with her behind your back, he won’t be as emotionally invested in you and your relationship. He can’t fake that same passion and engagement. So be on alert for any drop off in effort, affection, or attention from him out of the blue.

Lying About Their Whereabouts

If your friend and boyfriend’s accounts of their whereabouts don’t match up, that’s very incriminating. For example, someone isn’t telling the truth if you ask your boyfriend where he was Saturday night and he says at home, but your friend mentions seeing him out at a bar.

Pay attention if their stories seem suspicious, vague or change. Liars have trouble keeping all the details straight. If you catch them in even small lies, it could point to cheating.

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Changes in Sex Life

An obvious sign is if your sex life and intimacy with your boyfriend drops off suddenly. If he used to be passionate and interested but now makes excuses to avoid being sexual with you, that’s often a giveaway that he’s getting fulfilled elsewhere — like with your friend.

On the flip side, sometimes cheaters get a self-esteem boost from the affair, so they may want more sex from their partner to “prove” something. But it feels different — not as connected. Just be alert to any inexplicable changes in your physical relationship.

What to Do if Your BFF Likes Your BF?

Let’s imagine that you’ve already found out: My best friend slept with my boyfriend. What is next? Discovering your best friend has feelings for your boyfriend can leave you hurt and confused. You want to address it but don’t want to sabotage the friendship or relationship. So what should you do to handle this delicate situation? Here are some tips:

  1. Look for solid proof first. Don’t just accuse your friend without clear evidence their behavior shows a crush. Flirty actions could be harmless; make sure you aren’t misreading things.
  2. Have an honest but gentle talk with her. Don’t attack, but share your observations and how it makes you feel. Ask if she has developed feelings. Let her explain.
  3. If she admits to a crush, set boundaries. Make it clear pursuing your BF would betray your trust. Ask her to pull back on interactions with him.
  4. Watch for changed behavior before trusting again. It takes time to get over a crush. Ensure she respects your relationship moving forward.
  5. Limit their one-on-one time. Hanging out as a group is fine, but reduces opportunities for them to be alone and closer.
  6. Communicate with your boyfriend as well. Fill him in on the situation from your perspective. Work together to strengthen your bond.
  7. Refocus on your friendship. Plan more quality time together, just the two of you. This can help redirect her feelings onto someone new eventually.

As we can see, the situation when your best friend has a fling with your man — is a trendy case. With open communication and patience, you can get through this bump in the road together and strengthen! Don’t let it ruin the friendship without attempting to preserve it first.

Your BFF Likes Your BF


If you notice some of these red flags, talk candidly with your friend and boyfriend to get to the truth. But approach it from a place of care, not attack. Focus on how their actions make you feel, not accusations. If they deny any cheating, follow your gut. If you still can’t shake the feeling something is going on, it may be healthiest to cut contact with them and move on gradually. Surround yourself with people you can trust completely. You deserve unconditional love and complete peace of mind in your relationships.

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How Do I Confront Them About Cheating?

Avoid aggressive confrontation. Calmly explain what behaviors raised alarm bells and ask point blank if anything is happening between them. Gauge their reaction and honesty. If they get angry or defensive, that’s very telling.

Should I Go Through His Phone to Find Evidence?

Searching phones or accounts is tempting but can make you seem paranoid or crazy. Plus, they’ll likely delete any incriminating stuff. Focus more on their actions — those are harder to hide.

What if They Say It Only Happened Once and Swear It’s Over?

That may be true, but also very hard to trust again fully. Make a choice that protects your peace of mind. You aren’t obligated to forgive cheating, even if it was “just” once.

How Do I Get Over This Betrayal?

Take time to process the hurt, sadness, and anger fully. Surround yourself with a robust support system. Block them on social media. Write in a journal. Focus your energy on self-care and personal growth. This pain won’t last forever.

The bottom line is to trust your instincts. Believe in yourself if you feel betrayed, and act accordingly to protect your heart. You can walk away from people who don’t deserve your trust.

How Do I Know If My Friend Is Flirting With My Boyfriend?

Here are some signs that may indicate your friend is flirting with your boyfriend:

  • She laughs and frequently touches his arm, shoulder, or leg when talking to him.
  • Her body language faces him directly, and she looks engaged when he speaks.
  • She finds small ways to compliment his looks or physique.
  • She texts or calls him a lot, incredibly late at night.
  • Her social media interactions with him seem flirtatious or overly friendly.
  • She suggests the three of you do things where they can be partners or sit together.
  • She makes inside jokes or gives him playful nicknames.
  • She asks him personal questions or for advice on guys.
  • Her eyes linger on him in group settings.
  • She dresses up or fixes her hair/makeup when she knows he’ll be present.

Please pay attention to her behavior changes around him compared to one-on-one with you. Trust your instincts — you likely know if she’s crossing the line.

Catherine Mayers

Catherine is a psychologist and certified relationship coach with over 10 years experience helping couples heal after infidelity. Her approach provides a judgement-free space to process emotions, get to root issues, and take active steps to reconnect or mindfully part ways. Catherine offers research-based strategies to manage difficult emotions, rebuild broken trust, and improve communication. She provides empathetic guidance to empower couples during this challenging time, both through direct counseling and her insightful articles on repairing relationships after cheating.

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